Embrace The Good: The Key To Winning The Game Of Life With Dupé Aleru

 

The key to winning the game of life no matter what it throws to you is to find what’s good in everything you’re going through and embrace it. This is a powerful message that we all need to hear as we navigate a crisis that none of us has any control over. Joining Rodney Flowers to share some insights on this is Dupé Aleru, the Founder and CEO of Davi Creative, a digital creative agency servicing professional speakers and brands. A former professional teacher, Dupé stopped teaching to teach on a much wider scale. A motivational speaker and content creator herself, she excels in creating engaging video content that teaches the values and morals that we desperately need in these times… and she’s taking her talents to invade the world of TikTok! In this episode, she joins Rodney in a far-ranging discussion about adversity, racism, and education. Join in and be enlightened, chided, motivated, and inspired all at the same time.

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Embrace The Good: The Key To Winning The Game Of Life With Dupé Aleru

As always, I am excited about our show. I have a world-class motivational speaker with me, Dupé Aleru. She is the Founder and CEO of Davi Creative, a digital creative agency servicing professional speakers and brands. From teacher to entrepreneur, Dupé forged her own professional path by transferring her teaching expertise and creative skills to becoming a motivational speaker and content creator. For many years, she has educated, empowered, and inspired people from all walks of life to embrace their most natural gifts and use them to help others. Dupé is a five-time published author and is recognized as one of the top powerhouse motivational influences and leading authority on curriculum development and video content creation. It is with pleasure to welcome Dupé to the show. Welcome to the show.

I made it. We’ve been trying to do this for a while.

It seems like years. Having you here, we couldn’t have planned a better time to chat. The world needs motivation. The world is hurting and there are so much uncertainty and a lot of fear that’s going on. I’m excited to talk with you because I know as a leading authority with motivating people and creating content, I know there is so much bottled up in you. You’re probably busy so I’m grateful that you took the time to stop by and talk to us. I want to know from you about things and what people can do to get through this. Before we get to that, how are you doing?

I’m doing good. 2020 has been one of those years. You can’t make this stuff up, and this is beyond everything, even COVID-related. The year started off rocky but one day at a time, things always progress and things get better. It’s all about mindset. Things are opening up but it’s a great time for people to focus on self-love, self-care, and get clarity on what it is that they want out of life. As we all see it, life is short, so every moment is precious. This time has been a great time for me personally.

It’s been that type of time for me to do a lot of self-reflection, pivoting, and looking at new ways of being and doing as well. I feel that the events that have occurred were a calling for all of us to take a step back, look at the way we’ve been living, look at the way we’ve been being, and explore new opportunities and new possibilities. I love these types of events. Having gone through a spinal cord injury, and it was a traumatizing time of my life, I realized that there are a lot of opportunities when these things happen, but you have to have the right perception of it. If you have the right perception, you can see the beauty in taking a different direction. I’m finding that that’s difficult for people at times. What are some of the things we can do to help people understand that thing alone?

It’s difficult for people and there are many people that have overcome adversity. I, myself, have hit rock bottom multiple times. When you have not dealt with adversity in your life, when it does hit on this mass scale to where everyone’s going through it, then that causes an unbalance. People feel like the world is ending because they’re not used to it. People like you and I or other people who have dealt with adversity, it’s like, “We’ll get over this hump again too.” It’s about building mental strength and tough skin because if I had not gone through my adversities that I had to overcome, I don’t think I would have been strong enough to deal with the back to back to back.

I lost a good friend, and then right after that, COVID hit, and then the civil rights movement. There’s so much going on and it would have been a lot to handle but because I was able to overcome adversity and understand the type of woman I was able to become from going through that experience, I realized this is no different. It’s like, “I’m going to morph into the person that God has intended me to be.” It’s all about perspective. We all have to have a certain level of learning experience and anything that we have to go through in life.

What is your view about the challenges that show up? Most of the time, when they show up, it’s like, “Here we go again. Woe is me. I don’t want to deal with that.” What is your philosophy about the challenges that may show up in our lives even on a small scale or grand scale? What’s the purpose of this in your opinion?

My signature keynote speech is about embracing challenges to experience change. Let’s face it, we are all going to experience adversity in our lives. It’s inevitable. The thing about it is that it is big and small scale. Adversity is adversity. You can compare and say, “This is not as bad as X, Y, and Z, but it still doesn’t omit the feelings and the struggle that you have.” Honestly, it’s having a mindset like, “You will get through it.” I get it because when you’re in it, you don’t feel good. These cliché sayings don’t help.

Even me as a Christian woman, I’m like, “God will never give you too much more than you can handle,” and all these things. That sounds good on paper but when you can’t pay your bills, just lost a loved one, or having an illness that can be life-threatening, all those things sound good but it’s like, “How is that going to help me right now? I’m struggling.” I get that but you honestly don’t have much of an option. You either succumb to it and things can be worse or you have a more positive outlook and say, “I will overcome this. It’s going to make me stronger.” You have faith that you will get through it.

I’ve always chosen the latter. I’ve always thought, “God helped me get past those circumstances in the past where I thought that there was no way I was going to get out of that. This is not as bad, so I shall get through this.” Months or even maybe weeks go by, and then you’re out of it. I always tell myself, “Remember yourself at that moment because you’re going to get through it again and when the next adversity hits, you’ve got to remember that moment.” That’s what keeps me going when I hit challenges. I don’t know how your mindset is.

There is no strength without struggle. You have to go through adversity in order to get to the next level. Click To Tweet

One of the things that I’m passionate about is helping people get to that point a lot sooner because there’s a period of time that we go through a pity party. It’s that uncomfortable moment that we don’t like and we feel a certain way about the challenges that show up. One of the things I want to change and help people get to is viewing the challenges that show up as purposeful experiences because in life if you would take the challenges away, if you would go back over your life and relive your life without the challenges, there would be no growth.

They’re as purposeful as all the good that we experience and all the things that we appreciate more than the challenges. Without those things, we wouldn’t become the people that we are designed to become. When we have a mindset that when this challenge comes, it’s an opportunity, a time for growth, time for development, or whatever. The fact that we’re going through those growing pains, if you will, it’s part of the process.

You summed it up. It’s the process. There’s no strength without struggle. You have to go through adversity in order to get to that next level and it’s always going to be that up and down roller coaster. I feel like that’s how life is. I made a video about this. When you’re coasting, you’re climbing and things are going good and you hit that plateau, enjoy that moment because we all know in life, you’re going to hit that tip sooner or later. Enjoy the highs and embrace the lows because it’s all part of life and it’s all a part of the process. You can’t dislike one or the other. You have to be able to love at all.

I remember a video you made about a butterfly. Go ahead and walk us through that video.

I use TikTok. That’s my new platform and I was doing a lot of stories, I realized, “Let me tell stories in a way that’s motivational.” I came across the story online and the moral of the story was powerful. I took my viewers through this process and they’re not thinking, “That’s what the ending is going to be about.” The story is about a man who found a butterfly and the butterfly was trying to get out of the chrysalis. It was struggling trying to get out through a little hole. The man wanted to help the butterfly so he took out a pair of scissors and he snipped the remaining part of the chrysalis so the butterfly could escape.

When the butterfly escaped, his wings were shriveled and he wasn’t able to fly for his entire life. What the man did not know was that struggle and that restriction that the butterfly would need to get through the chrysalis was God’s way of releasing a fluid that would allow the butterfly to fly. Since the man helped him out, he cut the process in half. The moral of the story is in life, we’re all going to experience challenges and adversity but in order to be the person that we need to be, we have to go through the entire process. Everyone loved that story. The moral of the story is what we’re talking about. It’s hard but you’ve got to get through it.

If it isn’t hard and challenging, then there’s no growth and you wouldn’t appreciate it. When challenges come, it’s not a time to hold your head down. I think about this, honestly, because I’m a football player and I can’t help it. One of the most exciting times in the games that I’ve played and in the games that I’ve watched are the times where there’s a lot of opposition and there are a lot of challenges. The game is tight. They’re having to push themselves too hard. They have to be creative. They have to come up with new ways of playing the game in order to win.

Life is the same way but the beautiful thing about life is it gives us those things and that’s a gift. Imagine if we could go through life looking at challenges and obstacles as a gift. What if we did that? Honestly, Dupé, when I look back at my experience, I’m grateful for my accident. I wouldn’t want to do it again and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone but I’m grateful for that because of the awareness, growth, and all of those things. I can go on and on and on. If you take that away, I don’t know if I’m here talking to you, not with the awareness that I have.

I feel the same way about my adversity. I’ve said this on stage that I’ve had 39 tumors removed. They’re all benign tumors but going through those surgeries, that process, and the pain and the constant agony for all those years that I had to endure in order to get to the place that I am now, I know for a fact that I would not be the person that I am now. Number one, I would not be speaking because I truly believe that my story gave me the confidence to get up on stage because that was my first signature talk. I’m telling my story and my whole thing is that everyone is different.

We all have different ways of thinking about things and this goes to show with the world. We’re all not going to agree on the same thing. Everyone’s not going to have that mindset where, “I’m going to use my adversity to propel me forward and to inspire other people or to make a difference.” People are not going to automatically think that way because it’s easier to be stuck in a rut. It’s easier to think negatively and say, “Why me, God?”

It’s easier to filter for yourself and to be depressed and to say, “This is my life. I don’t deserve more than this.” That’s going to be a good majority of the people, and then there are going to be those few who use it to make a difference and an impact. We see them time and time again in our world like Oprah Winfrey. There are many people that have endured crazy situations that you are like, “How did they go from there to here?” It’s because of the mindset. It’s all mindset.

We’re talking about perception and that’s helpful but if you don’t have the perception, then you’ve got to have the grit and you’ve got to have something to get you through. What are the necessary tools? Everyone is going through something. What do you think we should be thinking about and should be doing in order to get through this?

 

It’s hard because even with my platform, I have a good following. Most people know that I’m a Christian woman. For me, it’s always going to be my faith. That’s the foundation. When you’re talking to people who may not believe in God or bigger power, you have to have some level of faith outside of yourself. Let’s be honest, when you hit rock bottom, you need something else to believe in to get you out of that rut. A lot of times, it’s out of our control. For me, I lean on to my faith and that’s what’s always got me through all of my situations. After that, my parents and being close to my family.

If you’re dealing with a tough time and you’re going through a tough time, I would say, what is that one thing that grounds you? Whether it’s your faith, family, or friends. Who keeps you grounded? What can you do to get your mind off the challenge, and then bring yourself back? Some people are meditating and some people enjoy exercising. I don’t know what that is, but I know that I have certain rituals that I hold true to my heart because I know like, “This is what keeps me going day-by-day. No matter what hits me, I’m able to keep a cushion.”

How do you stay focused with so much going on? We have COVID and we have social injustice.

Starting with COVID, I don’t get 2020. It’s one of those years where I don’t even try to understand it. It’s been a lot. I’m a strong person. I’m talking about how I’ve always prided myself on being mentally strong. My family is always the one leaning on me and people on the outside are always leaning on me. This year hit me hard. It knocked me out. It was one of those KOs like, “What happened?” I had to pick myself back up because who’s going to motivate the motivator? I’m not that type of person that leans on a lot of people. I’m inspired by a few people but not a lot of people inspire me either so I have to lean a lot on God. I lean a lot on my sister, mom, and dad.

Honestly, self reflects because you have to know yourself more than anything, and that’s what’s important. A lot of people are scared because they don’t want to focus on what’s going on here. The reason why people are like, “Oh my gosh,” is because COVID is COVID. A lot of people have difficulty staying in the house. I’m not talking about it’s hard when you’re a parent and all those. I’m talking about some people who can’t stay still because then, they would have to look inward. Our society is so go, go, go. Especially in the United States, we’re always doing something. We’re always on to the next and we’re always on our phones.

People don’t know how to slow down. When you slow down, you have time to look at your life and some people might not like what they’re looking at. When they’re at home away from people, it brings depression and anxiety because they have to focus on the things that they’ve been sweeping under the rug. You can’t go to the bars, hang out with friends, and do things where you are escaping your life. What’s important is to say, “I don’t need alcohol. I don’t need my friends right now. I don’t need to be going out and about. Let me focus on what truly makes me happy to the core because a lot of people aren’t self-aware.”

That’s the biggest issue. You see everyone freaking out that they can’t stay in the house for two weeks. I’m not talking about the people that have kids and stuff because that’s tough having to home school and all that. I’m talking about the people who don’t have a lot of those responsibilities. It’s like, “What are you afraid of? Work on yourself. Even if you’re unemployed, this is a good time to figure out this can happen again.” Even if you have a 9:00 to 5:00, what can you do that you can set yourself up for success in the future? Have a little side business. What can you figure out? You have all this downtime. That’s the bigger picture and conversation that we’re not having. We’re focusing on the illness, which is important but we’re not talking about the deeper issue of why people are struggling to be in tune with themselves.

Do you think we have an identity crisis?

I do because people identify number one, with other people. Everyone’s codependent. I’ve always been independent so this time has been amazing for me. The amount of conversations I’ve had with people is in the thousands because I’ve talked to many people per day on social media. It’s rare that I find someone with my view who says, “I’ve enjoyed this moment.” Most people are antsy like, “I can’t be by myself. I need to see people.” I get it. We’re human beings.

We love human interaction and love, and that’s important. If you don’t love yourself and you’re not confident in what you have going on, how can you add to other people’s lives? What I’m hearing is you’re wanting to take from other people. You need other people to make yourself feel full and whole. How are you adding to their life? The only way that you could add to someone else’s life is if you feel complete within yourself.

How do we tackle this identity crisis in your opinion?

The only way that you could add to someone else's life is if you feel complete within yourself. Click To Tweet

Take time to get to know yourself. What are your goals? What are your wants? What are your aspirations? What drives you? What’s your purpose? Being okay with not being okay. There was a point where I’m tired of doing all these videos because I was getting so much of myself that I was depleted. I was like, “I’ve got to focus on maybe one platform right now.” Figuring out what makes you happy and taking those steps to build your environment and your life around what truly makes you happy.

Do you think people understand when we talk about identity crisis, knowing yourself, and understanding your purpose? People can identify with a thing and it could be purposeful but at the same time, it’s one of those things where it’s a necessity and it’s not necessarily what they’re designed to do. “It’s something that I have to do and it’s purposeful, so this is what I’ve got to do because I’ve got to pay bills.”

That’s not what we’re talking about. At least I don’t think you’re talking about that. You’re talking about a deeper level of understanding of what your values are and challenging the values that have been programmed into you when you were a kid. We agree with those. Do you need to establish new ones? Are you in agreement with where you are? Do those values match up with the way you’re living your life and the way you want to live your life going forward?

I posted this on Instagram Stories. I was like, “I am forever changed.” There’s an innocence that I have that is gone. With everything that’s happened in 2020, they say you’re woke. I’m woke and I see the world completely different.

How do you see it? What is that? You say you woke. Tell us about that.

My sister was almost like, “Dupé, I have been trying to tell you this for years,” because she’s lived in other countries. She’s traveled the world. I’ve been secluded in my comfy little place in California. I felt sheltered in other ways. We all knew racism existed. I did not know the extent. I was gullible and naive. You can say whatever you want. I will take it because I personally have not experienced it myself. I didn’t know it was that bad and it took me to see all these things. I’m not going to lie. It shattered the old world that I’m in. My entire world is different.

I used to never go walking around my block thinking anything. I used to never be fearful of going anywhere or getting pulled over by a police officer. I’ve never felt fear. I’ve been pulled over plenty of times and they’ve all been nice. I’ve even got an attitude a couple of times so I don’t want to get a ticket. I’ve never experienced that. I’ve had conversations with my friends and family. It’s our experiences that shape our mindset and mentality. This is why it’s easy for certain people to not get racism because if they don’t experience it and they have certain privileges, they’re like, “It’s not that bad.”

I can relate to that because if I saw my life or my environment a certain way, and then I’m seeing certain things over here, I’m like, “That sucks but maybe that’s not for everybody.” It becomes a big thing. You’re woke and you’re like, “This is a bigger problem than I thought.” For me, that shattered my whole world. When you say, how do I see people differently? I have to change how I approach certain situations and the stereotypes that I even had or even maybe being naive to certain situations that I was holding on to. Now it’s weird. I was telling one of my best friends I’m different. Even going to the grocery store and whatever I do, now I’m thinking. I’m not just doing things and not thinking.

You’re more present is what you’re describing to me.

Thank you. I’m more present and I used to not be that way. Now I go walking around my block and I’m looking. I used to never be paranoid and I feel like now I am paranoid. Maybe it’s a good thing but I’m definitely present. Before, I wasn’t. I gave people too much credit. I thought everybody was good. Here’s the thing that I will always remember. My sister used to tell me this all the time and I used to never get it because she’s experienced more than I have, even though we’re a year apart, she travels, and stuff. There was one time where my car broke down at Trader Joe’s parking lot and I asked two men to help me jump my car and they both said no.

That was shocking to me and then I got upset because it was raining. I’m like, “No one’s going to help?” I turned around and I saw a couple walking, a girl and a guy. I was like, “Can you guys help me jump my car?” They’re like, “Sure.” I can see the girl looking at her man like, “Really?” She did because I saw her. I looked at her first and he helped out. He was helping me and she warmed up. At that point, I was in tears because I was shocked that people said no. That was the first time that I experienced some type of pushback. While they’re helping jump me, the lady that pulled to the right of me said, “Do you need help?” She came over and she’s consoling me. She was like, “We got you.” We ended up having a conversation with them and exchanging cards and stuff.

Long story short, I called my sister and I said, “Can you believe this?” She’s like, “This is one time to tell you. Your vision of the world is not reality. Just because you would stop and help someone doesn’t mean other people will do that. I’m trying to help you out because you’re going to continue to get hurt. It’s a lot worse out there. You’re crying over a car jump. There’s evilness out there.” That conversation always stuck with me, and then everything that I’m experiencing now, it’s like, “This is what my sister has always tried to slowly open my eyes to.” It’s our experiences that shape how we view the world and how we view people. For me, I’ve always given people the benefit of the doubt. I’ve always been that positive and now, it’s not like that.

 

Let’s talk about that a little bit. Everything that you’re saying is true. However, some good is coming out of this. There are conversations that are happening at a higher level now and there’s some legislation that has changed. We’re seeing some progress forward. Unfortunately, there are some events that have to happen in order for that to take place, but they took place and we’re going to focus on the positive. Some of the things that you’re addressing go back to the heart. We can protest and we can do all of those things.

You can change laws. Changing the laws doesn’t change a person’s heart. There’s a lot of work that has to be done at the individual level for that person to change the heart. That goes both ways because, with the series of events that have occurred, a lot of people need a gut check. They need to check their hearts and they need to challenge those values that they’ve grown up with and that they’re carrying around in the heart.

At the same time, I feel like our society, it’s a call to action for us as well. There’s some exposure in my opinion. There are some things we need to do. Take responsibility to put ourselves in better positions. I’m not saying not to experience those types of things because it shouldn’t matter what position you’re in. You shouldn’t experience that, but to be in a better place as a whole, as a society, and as a people. When these things occur, we can be in a better position to attack them, fight back, and influence change.

For me, it all goes back to my faith. I’ve seen some evil Christian people and I’m like, “How do you have scripture and you say Christian and I’m seeing you posting racism?” It blows my mind. I had to change my view of groups of people. Not all Christians are good. I used to think, “You’re Christian, you’re a good person.” Heck no. I’m telling you, a lot of things have changed for me but one thing that I will always stand by is the issue with the world is that we not only categorize people. Instead of saying, “This is right and this is wrong,” people would rather stick with a Democrat or Republican Party. People rather stick with a group of people. “I’m white so I’m sticking with these people.” “I’m black so I’m sticking with these people.”

It shouldn’t be about that. It’s right and wrong, and that’s it. For me, I don’t care if you’re black. If you do something wrong, I’m not going to agree with you. I don’t care if you’re a Democrat or if you’re a Republican. I see the difference. I’m not blind to it. I know there are different political parties, ethnicities, cultures, and all that stuff, but for me, it’s always been what is right and what is wrong. The reason why we’re where we’re at right now is that some people can’t admit when they’re wrong. Some people are not able to say, “That was wrong.” Not a but. There are no buts. If it’s wrong, it’s wrong. That’s it.

How can we change that? How can we fix that? That’s the issue that I’m constantly seeing. Especially on social media, people having debates. “The George Floyd thing was bad,” but that’s it. There are no buts. If it was your brother or your father, you wouldn’t have a but. It was wrong. How can we fix that? If we had fixed it the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd time all this happened, there wouldn’t have been any riots and looting and all that stuff but you want to ignore it. It is what it is and the world has to deal with that. Everyone’s always pushing things under the rug instead of focusing on the issue at hand on right and wrong.

It’s not a right or wrong issue. It’s a racism issue.

I get that. There are also other things that are going on that you see where it’s right and wrong. There’s that racism issue. That’s never going away though. That’s the thing that we’ve got to understand. I don’t feel like racism is ever going to go away because there are always going to be people who think that for some reason, they’re more deserving or they’re better than other people. There’s always going to be discrimination. There’s no way to abolish that. That’s where you’ve got to go back to the right or wrong thing. What do you feel?

We’re going to leave out the rest of the world. I’m just talking about America. For us to move forward, we have to address this as a people because if we don’t address this as Americans, then we’re going to cripple ourselves. In order to continue to progress to compete with the rest of the world in my opinion, as a team in America, we’re going to need each other. If we think that we can put our foot on the neck of the rest of the people that are in this country, we don’t need them, they have to be beneath, and only one race is going to rule, then that’s not going to work. That’s over.

That to me is common sense though. The people who have the mentality that you have and I, we believe that all people are equal, we’re not the problem. The people who don’t think that they are the problem, those are the ones who need to do the work. I don’t feel like it’s our job to teach people what is common sense in my eyes. What I go back to my faith, right versus wrong. It all goes back to that. Let’s be honest, we’re all sinners. In God’s eyes, there’s no hierarchy to sin. Human beings put hierarchy to sin like murder and rape.

We’re the ones that put it on different levels. In God’s eyes, we’re all sinners. What I feel the need is that it all comes down to the individual. You have to look deep within yourself and ask yourself why you feel a certain way. I truly feel like things are going to get better and I feel like there is going to be a change that’s going to happen. It’s going to take time but I don’t think that we can ever live in a world unless the computer monitors our thoughts, there’s no way we’re all going to think alike. There’s always going to be evil and there’s always going to be good.

Find the good in everything that you're going through, embrace it, and use it to propel yourself forward. Click To Tweet

We have to come to at least an agreement to say, “You can believe what you want to believe and I respect that but you can’t harm me. You can’t say whatever you want. You have to respect me, my beliefs, and who I am too.” It’s like with me being a Christian woman. I’m not saying, “I will never be friends with someone who’s atheist.” It’s dumb. You have your beliefs but you’re showing me that you’re a good person and your morals and values line up with my morals and values, even though we might not have the same belief system, we can coexist. You may not like me because of the color of my skin, just treat me with respect and I’ll treat you with respect.

It goes further than that. If everyone on your team looks like you and they have the same background as you in terms of your race, you’re limited. We have to understand the power of diversity.

That’s one thing that I’ve always loved. I grew up sheltered and there were not a lot of diverse people growing up. We grew up around white neighborhoods and I was always the only black kid in class. When my parents moved us up north, it still was not as diverse. There are not too many black families. When I moved to LA, it was such a culture shock. I was like, “Black people. It is a culture shock.” You were no longer the only third black family in the city. Everywhere you looked, there were different nationalities, ethnicities, and cultures. I felt like I’ve been missing out.

I love diversity. It’s a threat thing. It’s something where you’re threatened by another person where something inside of you almost feels inferior in some way. In order to make yourself feel superior, you have to bring them down and make them feel like they’re less than, where in reality you feel less than because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be fearful and threatened by the other person. That’s what it boils down to in my opinion.

We can drop the mic on there because that’s such a valid point that warrants a moment of silence. It’s the truth. Here in America, there’s a need for that anymore. This younger generation is not tolerating it.

People ask me all the time, “Why are you on TikTok?” There’s a lot of racism and a lot of bad things. People say things and you can tell they get it from their parents. Some of these kids were not raised right. This is sad, when I tell you they’re going toe to toe with their parents. My generation didn’t do that. We didn’t have the balls to question what our parents taught us. These kids are going to be kicked out of their homes because they’re standing with the movement or they’re saying, “This is wrong.”

They’re going to be the change because in a 2020 world with the internet, you’re going to tell me that you’re not going to educate yourself. I’m a former educator and I have my teaching credentials. I love being a teacher, but the education system has failed us. They are not teaching the things that are true and they’re not teaching it in a perspective that puts everybody on an equal level. It’s one-sided. It’s almost like going to court and only hearing one side of the argument and then making your decision but that’s what we teach in school.

At the end of the day, these young kids are now educating themselves. You don’t understand how many comments I see on TikTok where they’re like, “I learn more on TikTok than I have in my history class.” All the time, every single day, I’m seeing comments like this because people are putting links and articles. People are saying, “This is what it was.” People are like, “What? They didn’t teach us that. We didn’t know that.”

We have to take responsibility now. There’s no excuse because information is in the palm of our hands. Whether you go to school or not, there is no excuse not to know the truth when it comes to history and the truth, when it comes to how you can shape your morals, beliefs, and values because all that information is out there. Each and every one of us has to take that responsibility to educate ourselves and to know what the truth is. Hopefully, the education system can catch up.

That’s the step we need to take because you can’t change a person’s heart. If that’s their heart and it’s their programming, they’re going to be that way regardless of what you do. You can change you, and then you can educate other people and give them the truth because they’re going to be feeding whatever it is in their heart to those. If those people accept it, then that’s going to continue on and they’re going to have their own agenda. It’s also important that we know that history and we can teach that history so people know the truth. That’s the way we’re going to have to combat racism.

What it boils down to is knowing the truth. There’s a part of me that’s ashamed, even me going to school to get my teaching credential in all those years learning the content, it’s like, “What are we teaching kids in school?” I have my Master’s degree in Education and I have two teaching credentials. I’m a former educator and have owned a tutoring company for ten years. I love education but when we look at our world and you’re going to tell me that we did a good job, no. If you said we did, look at other countries. Let’s dig deeper.

 

Not only that. There are a lot of things that I failed at. Our entire system in education has to change because though it’s important to learn how to read, write, and do math. You can get by in life without knowing how to read, write, or do math. Let’s be honest, because all you’ve got to do is, “Alexa, how do you spell this?” That’s no longer the top priority. Let’s be clear. What is important now is showing people how to love, why bullying is not okay, why we’ve got to teach racism on a larger scale in school, why it’s important to teach self-love and self-care. Also, why we should cover depression and why we should cover gun violence.

The thing that’s important that the education system has always missed is that when you see the world shifting and changing, you can’t use the same methodology going into new areas and new decades when it’s not even the world that these kids live in anymore. There’s a disconnect between what we’re teaching and what the kids are experiencing on a day-to-day basis. We’ve got to start all over. We’ve got to scratch it. I don’t know when that would ever happen but there’s a possibility we do.

One of the things that I’m grateful for is social media because what social media is teaching is collaboration that they’re not getting in school. Something we have to teach and practice is collaboration. Not selective collaboration but being able to collaborate with whomever. Having the skillset to be able to connect with people of all kinds of diversities on a deep level.

There’s so much self-efficacy, self-awareness, and collaboration. These younger generations do that and they’re teaching us how to do that. I love learning from them. I’m on social media and I’m like, “How are they doing all this stuff?” They’re smart. They know it and they understand it. It’s because their day-to-day lives are matched with what’s going on. When they go to school, they’re getting old stuff. That’s why you’re seeing them being the ones who are fighting back and who are saying, “This is not right,” because they’re smart enough to do the research on their own and understand. When we were going to school, even though the internet was around in high school, it wasn’t what it is now. It’s going to get better for sure.

How can people connect with you, Dupé, if they wanted to learn more about you or work with you?

Honestly, social media. My website is DupeAleru.com and @DupeAleru on all social platforms. Follow me on TikTok, that’s my major platform, LinkedIn, Instagram, and YouTube.

What are you doing as a motivational speaker to keep yourself motivated?

To be honest, I’m not that motivated. On my birthday, I take a couple of weeks to chill and off. I still work on content and I’m editing at least 25 videos a week. I’m filming and I’m still creating stuff for my membership site. That hustle and go has been off and I’m going to get back to it but sometimes, we’ve got to take time. For me, it’s meditating, enjoying the moment, and not having to make plans for every hour of my day like I usually don’t. It’s been great.

I appreciate you being transparent and open to say, “I’m a motivational speaker, but I’m not motivated right now.”

I usually work twelve months a year and I haven’t even taken a real vacation. Not one time in my life. I’m a workaholic and I know that. I don’t feel guilty to say, “I’m not going to do anything this month.” I’ve given since my first business I built when I was 21. I’ve been at it for a couple of years. There’s no guilt or whatsoever when I say that I’m not motivated and I don’t care to do anything.

I want to thank you for coming to the show. It’s been a great conversation with you. I appreciate it. Thank you. Before we go, we like to end the show on a good note. I want to ask you, how can people bounce back from adversity, dominate their challenges, and continuously win in the game of life?

Just embracing it and finding something in what you’re going through as a learning tool that can help propel you forward in whatever it is that you want to do. Try to find the good in everything that you’re going through. You can do that if you’re able to pull some good out of what you’re going through. You’re going to set the bar to that next level so that’s important.

Dupé Aleru, thank you for stopping by. I appreciate it. There you have it. Another successful episode of the Game Changer Mentality podcast. Look for the good in everything. No matter how bad it seems, feels or looks, look for the good and I’m sure you can find something that you can hold on to and you can sink your teeth in to get you through. We have to open our eyes and see. It’s not all bad. There’s some good in everything. Until next time, peace and love.

Important Links:

• Davi Creative
• TikTok – Dupé Aleru
• DupeAleru.com
• @DupeAleru -Instagram
• LinkedIn – Dupé Aleru
• YouTube – Dupé Aleru
• DAleru@DupeAleru.com
• http://RodneyFlowers.com/get-up-book/
• http://RodneyFlowers.com/essential-assertions-book/
• https://RodneyFlowers.us9.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=01f76a038256f77a6fbc93590&id=307d726734

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