Children see and understand the world differently from adults. Words or events that might be meaningless to some can be life-altering for them and create subconscious barriers that hinder growth as an adult. Rewiring the mind has become possible by changing how you perceive yourself and ultimately forgetting the negativity that affects you. Owner of Nectar Consulting, Michele Molitor, shares her expertise and knowledge about subconscious beliefs and how it affects people’s lives on a daily basis. She explains the important role perception plays in improving yourself and breaking blocks along the way. Michele also emphasizes that listening to your body is crucial when dealing with negative emotions.
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Changing Perceptions By Rewiring Your Subconscious Mind With Michele Molitor
How many of you want a breakthrough? How many of you have barriers that sometimes get in the way of that breakthrough and consistently deter you from your breakthrough or the success that you’re looking for? How many of you ever had that? I have that sometimes. How many of you know that that barrier is costing you time, money, joy and satisfaction? It’s costing you something. We’re going to talk about how to remove that barrier. How many of you want to learn how to remove that barrier out of your life? I certainly want to remove all of the barriers out of my life.
How many of you ever had a moment when your brain went into a flight, fight, or freeze mode? Have any of you ever had that? You could thank Amy for that. I know you guys are wondering, “Who the heck is Amy?” Amy is your amygdala. It’s that part of your brain that’s responsible for protecting you at all costs from dying. The problem is Amy doesn’t know the difference between a bear attacking you or your boss attacking you. These moments can change the way you move through the world, the risk that you take, and the confidence that you have but not the way that you play the game.
I have a treat for you. Michele Molitor is the Founder and CEO of Nectar Consulting and she’s the author of the best selling book, Breakthrough Healing. She works with executives and entrepreneurs, bringing many years of experience, intuitive insights, and strategies that businesses can use to achieve success, remove those barriers and perform at the highest level. She has a unique approach that she calls the Rapid Rewiring approach that she has accumulated through her years of study. That includes emotional intelligence, neuroscience, organizational psychology, and rapid transformational therapy. She’s here to help you all to eliminate blocks, shift our thinking, and rewire our brain for greater confidence and success. Please help me welcome Ms. Michele Molitor. Welcome to the show, Michele.Emotions that cannot find their expression in tears will cause other organs to weep. Click To Tweet
Thank you, Rodney. It’s fabulous to be here with you.
I’m glad you are here with us, too, because one thing that I know that every one that is reading has in common is blocks. We all want to breakthrough at some level in life. It’s funny because when you get to one level in life, maybe you experienced some level of a breakthrough. There’s always another level of a breakthrough that you are seeking or you’re wanting, so this doesn’t stop. What’s the key? The key is to become an expert at getting breakthroughs and that all requires us to know how to get over barriers. I appreciate people like you that show and help us rewire our brain so that we could do that. How did you get into this? What made you create this Rapid Rewiring technique?
It’s been an interesting, long and convoluted path, Rodney, that has brought me to this moment in time, but it’s been chock-full of learning. If we rewind the tape all the way back in my former career, I was a creative director in web development. I moved to the San Francisco Bay Area at the height of the dot-com boom back in 2000. It was a crazy wild time. I thought I had a golden ticket and was going to be a millionaire like all those other fabulous people. Instead of IPO-ing the weak, I started the market crash and that was a big bummer but we all kept persevering. Over the next year or so, despite all of my best efforts, I let my fears take over my brain. My Amy was out of control and ultimately, I got bullied out of my job because my fears were starting to show.
A couple of people who didn’t like having a woman for a boss took full advantage of it. It left my confidence shattered and my self-esteem crushed. I discovered coaching to help me figure out what to do next. In the process of being coached around my career, I discovered my true calling and purpose, which is to be of service to people in a deeper and more profound way. I went on, I’ve been trained and certified in a variety of modalities. I’ve been working as a professional coach in my business sector consulting for many years. We all have our blocks and our barriers and I’m always trying to pull off the next layer and the next barrier and get those out of my way because I’m a bit of a learning junkie and a science geek, all rolled up into one.
Over the years, I’ve done a tremendous amount of studying around neuroscience, physics, and epigenetics and understanding what makes someone confident or not confident, and what has made someone be successful or not be successful. Along that path, I discovered the work of Marisa Peer. She’s a world-renowned therapist and she developed this process called Rapid Transformational Therapy or RTT. In doing some work with Marisa myself to get those last couple of blocks out of my way, I was blown away that in a matter of weeks, the things that I had been working on for twenty plus years were gone, out of the way, moved, disappeared, and dissipated.
When she started training people in her methodology, I was like, “Pick me.” Ultimately, I’ve been trained in yet another modality. I’ve combined RTT with my coaching, and what I called the Rapid Rewiring Process. I’m able to work with clients and help them eliminate blocks both mental, emotional and physical in the span of 30 to 90 days versus a previous coaching engagement, which might be 6 to 12 months. It has amplified the work that I do and condenses the amount of time that I’m able to help people concisely and create breakthroughs that I am joyful to witness each day.
How does this work? How do you remove blocks from people? How does that whole process work?
Amy’s your amygdala and she’s part of your limbic brain. It’s part of your brain in the middle. It’s a little tiny piece of your brain but Amy’s powerful. She is all about keeping you safe. She wants to keep you safe inside your comfort zone, away from things that are scary that might kill you literally or figuratively. Throughout our life, from the moment of conception to the where we are now, we take in information. Particularly as children up until about the age of 8 or 9, we’re just sponges. We’re just taking in information and all that data is going into your subconscious. It sits there. It’s a data collection device. If there has been any moment in your life that were scary or traumatic, small, medium or large layers of trauma that we’ve all had in different ways, shapes and forms, we make decisions about ourselves. “I’m not good enough. Love’s not available to me. I’ll never succeed. Money doesn’t grow on trees. I’ll never be healthy.”
The list is endless. All of those decision points that we make about ourselves get stored in your subconscious. Your subconscious runs about 90% to 95% of your brainpower. Your conscious mind is 5% to 10%. You’ve got this conscious mind that says, “Yes, I can be successful. Yes, I can run my own business. Yes, I can be a leader,” but somewhere in your subconscious mind from way back when you’ve got a belief that says, “No, I don’t think so. Who do you think you are? You’re not good enough. You’re not smart and talented enough. You’re not something enough.” That subconscious belief will always beat out the conscious belief 9 times out of 10 because it has more staying power. It’s deeply ingrained.
The work that I do, Rodney, is a fascinating process that combines cognitive behavioral therapy, neuro-linguistic programming, and hypnotherapy, all rolled up into one. Inside of a two-hour session, I’m able to work with someone and drop them into a relaxed state of hypnosis, which allows you to be fully in control. You’re awake and you’re able to answer the question I’m asking you but your body’s super relaxed. You’re in what’s called an alpha brainwave state. The alpha brainwave state is that part-way place between beta brains where you’re awake and active and delta waves where you’re deeply asleep. It’s your super learning state because you’re able to take stuff in without your prefrontal cortex getting in the way and your conscious mind getting in the way and having judgments about everything.
In this state of hypnosis, I’m able to get at the root cause of what’s creating this block because we’re able to identify the point in time, the event in space and time that created the belief, to begin with. It might have been at age 3, 5, 7, 10, 15 or 20. It doesn’t matter. We’re able to identify it and you’re able to see from this place at this moment in time that the belief that you created all those years ago, isn’t who you are now. You’re able to rewrite the story because your mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined in the state of hypnosis. You’re able to eliminate the emotional charge around that belief and rewrite the story to something more empowering. That creates its ripple effect all the way forward.
To amplify that a-ha moment, because we can have hormones all day long, but if they don’t stick, then what’s the purpose. I take all of the data that I’ve gathered from my initial conversations with a client and inside of this state of hypnosis, and then I weave that into what I call a transformation recording. It’s a customized recording while they’re still in hypnosis. I’m instilling new empowering beliefs and thoughts all around what we’ve been talking about or whatever the problem or block is for them. I record that portion of the session and then I mix in music with it. It’s relaxing to help drop you back into that alpha brainwave state and then the client’s homework is to listen to it every day for 21 to 30 days as they’re drifting off to sleep each night. That’s when you’re already going into that alpha brainwave state, so we’re making it easy for ourselves.
Your mind likes repetition, so the more you think of a thought, the truer it becomes for you. If you’ve been thinking your whole life, “I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not something enough,” you’ve got a well-worn groove in your synaptic connections in your brain that says, “That’s the belief that we have.” This process, by listening to this recording every single day, you’re creating a new set of neural pathways. It’s rewiring your brain with new beliefs that say, “Of course, I’m enough. Of course, I’m lovable. Of course, I’m able to have abundance and success. Why wouldn’t I?” As you’re shifting things at a subconscious level, it starts to create a powerful shift in how you show up, how you believe in yourself and how confident you feel in yourself, which changes everything else.Kids don't have that level of discernment that we do as adults. Negative things sink in. Click To Tweet
I can hear and feel some people thinking that they may not need this because sometimes, things like this feel flighty or unnecessary for certain people. We were all grown up with certain beliefs that were pressed upon us and we didn’t have control over what we took in and what we were exposed to, so we’ve adopted a lot of this stuff. You’re not aware of how it has an impact on who you are, what you do, what you say and how you think. What you’re talking about is a reprogram. This is a process for reprogramming yourself. It sounds like you take the approach to people that realize they have some type of block or barrier. What about those individuals who don’t realize they have blocks because we all have blocks? What are your thoughts to those people who feel like they don’t have any blocks?
We all have different challenges in our lives based on everything we’ve been talking about. There are those people who are confident and they believe in themselves. They’ve been able to create success in their lives and that’s great. The people that I work with gravitate towards me are the people who know something’s not working in their lives. Here’s a great example. I had one client who said to me, “I’ve had my own business for X number of years and I keep coming up against this barrier. For some reason, I can’t get above this financial benchmark. Every time I get close to it, I self-sabotage and then my financial situation goes to poo all over again. Please help me eliminate this. Every time that happens, I tend to get this bad bout of Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome, too.” I’m like, “How long has that been going on?” “Fifteen years.” I’m like, “Why don’t we get rid of that?” She’s like, “That’d be great.”
We went through this whole process and what we found out was the underlying fear was she was afraid of success and becoming too powerful because that would have detrimental effects. This was a deeply-rooted belief, so we changed all that. Inside of 30 days of working with her, she emailed me and she said, “I’ve been listening to my recording every night for 30 days and now was my biggest client meeting ever. My body is completely on board. There’s no more fear response.” When I reached back to her a month later to get a testimonial, check-in and how she’s doing, she’s like, “What did we work on? I don’t remember what it was.” It tends to disappear for people because you’re able to eliminate it and everyone’s different. It’s not a magic pill for everybody. There’s work to be done inside of this process.
That’s why I have a 30 to 90-day program because we start with that two-hour RTT session and then we follow that up with three 60-minute coaching sessions. If you’ve ever done any kind of detox, we take the sugar out of your diet, for example, and your whole body goes, “Where all the good stuff goes?” It gets fuzzy. The same thing happens with your beliefs. Amy is like, “No, I have a job and you told me that this was my job and I’m standing by it.” Over the 30 days, I’m working with my clients to identify those things that tend to bubble up to the surface where it gets a little wobbly and a little scary but we’re able to work through that. I give them other tools, assessments, and techniques to amplify and supercharge the goals that they’re wanting to achieve for themselves. Inside of 30 days, my clients have had amazing breakthroughs.
I had someone that I worked with and he had a money block. He had made millions in his twenties and then he lost it all. He had a lot of shame, fear, anger, and frustration with himself about that and he carried that around. Even though he’s the CEO of his own company, COO of another company, and successful, he’s like, “Why can’t I get to that next level? I used to be there. Why can’t I get there again?” It all stemmed from some events that happened to him as a child with his father. There are some things that his father did and some things his father said to him that made him think, “You can make the money but you can’t keep the money.” He wrote me back a few weeks after we completed our work and he’s like, “I need you to know that when I think about that event, there’s no emotion to it. Yeah, that happened. The sky is blue. I lost a couple of million dollars but I’m smart. I know that I can do that all over again because I’ve done it before.” It’s completely shifted how he sees himself and his business is on track to be his best year yet.
Do you find that most of these blocks, if not all, are associated with some life-altering event in the past?
Yes and, Rodney, they don’t have to be life-altering. They can be as simple as something your teacher said to you in third grade, “You’re a crap drawer. Why did you think that was a piece of art?” It can be little things. It doesn’t have to be a parent. It might be a sibling or a stranger. He said something to you but you take that in and go, “That must be true because they said it. They wouldn’t say that to me if it weren’t true.” Because when we’re kids, we don’t have that level of discernment that we do as adults. Those things sink in. I’ve worked with people who have had charming lives. I’ve had clients that I’ve worked with who have had horrific traumas. It doesn’t matter which end of the spectrum they’re on. They still create an emotional response for them. It’s that emotional response that is creating a block that can and often does manifest into physical blocks in our body, whether that’s IBS, chronic migraines, depression, arthritis, psoriasis or adrenal fatigue.
I had another client that I worked with for 90 days. He’s a super high achiever. He built a multimillion-dollar business by the time he was 27 but it nearly killed him and his body was like, “I can’t do this anymore.” His adrenals were blown. He had to shut his company down. He couldn’t work for nearly three years. He started working with different doctors in managing his health and it was slowly taking backup. We met and he wanted to do some work with me. He’s super geeky like me. He had some blood work done and I was like, “Let’s do blood work on the other side of it and then we could see what changed physically.”
He did and his doctor when he went back 90 days later and had bloodwork done again. I was like, “You’re at 85% there,” and he was at 40% before. Inside of that 90 days, he was able to significantly shift his health, even though he had been working with all sorts of other doctors for 2.5 years. I’m not a doctor and I don’t claim to be one but I do know how to get at people’s subconscious and I do know how to help shift things there. It’s about doing the internal work so that you can create those positive shifts for yourself and then have all the other people you need around you to support you in doing that.
What are some of the things that an individual can take to reclaim their thinking?
One of the most common beliefs that people have is either, “I’m not enough. X is not available to me. Love, success, and money are not available to me. I’m different. I don’t belong. I don’t fit in.” Any of those beliefs operating at a subconscious level can have a powerful impact and hold you inside your comfort zone where Amy dubs it’s safe. At a basic level for the people who are reading, start to notice, what’s the internal dialogue that you’re having with yourself? Is it more positive above the line? Is it higher than if we get into the science of this, we’re all energy? Our emotions vibrate at different frequencies. Negative emotions, I call those below the line. Fear, doubt, anger, frustration, shame, guilt, and depression are all lower vibrational emotions. Positive above the line vibrational emotions are I’m peaceful, joyful, happy, ecstatic and in love. When you’re in love, you feel everything’s sparkly and shiny because you’re vibrating at a higher vibration of energy. It’s in science.
Notice your thoughts. That’s the first step. What’s the inner dialogue that I’m constantly having with myself? Is it below the line? Is it angry or frustrated? Am I mean to myself when I talked to my mother that way? Is it above the line? If you’re finding that it’s below the line, then notice what those repetitive thoughts are and start to change them. Flip them on their head. What’s the opposite of that negative thought that you’re telling yourself? Find the positive version of it and start telling yourself that. When I did the work with Marisa Peer many years ago, I didn’t realize that I had a belief that I wasn’t enough.
Despite all of my best efforts, my training as a coach, being a learning junkie, always going to different workshops, retreats, and stuff because I love to learn. When I discovered that, I started telling myself, “Of course, I’m enough.” I have little sticky notes around my house. I used to sing into myself in the car as I drove down the freeway. You change that belief and then one day, you wake up. You’re like, “Of course, I’m enough. Why would I have ever thought otherwise?” You can look back at your history and go, “I can see where these events in my life are.” Whether you recognize them or not, it helped to foster that belief. It was there and your subconscious is running you day after day.When you're in love, everything feels sparkly and shiny because you're vibrating at a higher vibration of energy. Click To Tweet
I feel that. I’ve experienced this, too, when you have that belief that was developed back in your childhood, but then as you become an adult, things happen that it seemingly validates that belief. That’s based on your thinking as well. You’re constantly thinking, “I’m not enough,” or whatever you’re thinking. You’re looking for opportunities to validate as soon as something presents itself that says, “You didn’t make a high score as you thought you were going to make on a test,” or “You didn’t perform at a level that you want it to perform.” You use that as validation for the belief that you have in the first place. It’s changing that perspective about not only yourself but about the events that occur along the way with you making this change.
This is where people either give up or they quit because they feel there’s no hope in changing. Beliefs are a hard thing to change. Let’s be real. It’s not easy. It’s hard, especially when it’s been rooted and validated for 10 to 20 years or decades. You’re not going to change it overnight. It’s not going to happen. A hack to change a belief and you can get an expert, you can back me up on this or not, is a perspective because perspectives are a reality in many ways, shapes, or forms. This is your reality, wrong or indifferent. What is it? Good or bad? It’s not the same as someone else’s to you. That’s your perception. You’re going to take that as true. We have to question and challenge those perceptions at times, especially perceptions that don’t serve us.
That was a question, at least for me. I don’t know if my story. Coming from a place where there’s a belief that you’re never going to walk again or a belief that you can’t do this and you can’t do that, that belief is being validated and delivered by experts. I was changing my perception of my condition, my situation, the event, and the outcome that I went to. What was the perception? They have a perception that it’s going to be this outcome when I’m creating my perception. It was a way for me to help reprogram and rewire my brain to produce an outcome that I wanted and it served me. It served my attitude, emotion, and outlook. I want to offer that up to readers. If perhaps validated by the expert, it’s a hack you want to ask yourself, the way that you’re thinking and perceiving the world around you. How is that serving?
If it’s not serving you then find a different perspective to stand-in. You get to notice that belief, good, bad, right, wrong, or ugly. It doesn’t matter. How does it feel in your body? If you’re telling yourself, “I’m not enough,” it makes your shoulders drop and you feel heavy inside then you get to notice that feeling, how is that driving my behaviors and my actions? “I want to hide out under the covers. I don’t want to go out of the house. I’m depressed and I’m eating too much.” How does that impact how you feel about yourself? “I feel fat and overweight. I don’t want to go outside.” You can mentally and emotionally vomit all over yourself all day long. “I don’t want to vomit on myself. Maybe I should try something different.”
You take that negative belief that you’ve been telling yourself and you flip it on its head. What’s the opposite of that? If it’s, “I’m not enough,” what if I try out for today on, “I am enough.” If I’m standing in the place of, “Am I enough?” How does that feel? “I feel better. I stand up a little taller. I have a little smile on my face.” How does that impact your behaviors and actions? “I’m able to get up, go out, be with people, interact and be of contribution.” How does that impact how you feel about yourself? “I feel better, good and empowered.” You can create an upward spiral of emotion or you can create a downward spiral. It’s all about the choice that you choose to make about yourself each day.
Anytime you catch yourself starting to go down the rabbit hole, “What do I want to choose for myself at this moment right now?” The world might be falling around your ears. It’s your perspective of it and how you choose to be with it and respond versus reacting. You can choose to respond with, “This is what’s happening at this moment. I don’t necessarily like it but I’m not going to push against it. I’m not going to make myself wrong for it.” Whatever it might be, who knows. “I’m going to choose to find some gratitude at this moment. I’m going to choose to be grateful for whatever it is that I do have in my life at this moment.”
Even if it’s the littlest tiniest shred of gratitude, use that to spark a bigger perspective of gratitude because that elevates our vibration. When you start focusing on the things that you don’t have, then you see more of what you don’t have. It’s a thing in your brain called the mirror neurons. I call them your little emotional antenna. It helps you pick up on the emotions of others but it also helps you see what you want to see. If you’re like, “I’m going to go buy a brand new blue Tesla,” suddenly, you see blue Teslas all over the place.
If I don’t feel I’m worthy, then I’m going to look and I’m going to see evidence of me not being worthy. When you shift your perspective, “Of course, I’m worthy. Why would I not think I’m worthy?” You start to see more of that as you raise your vibration and elevate your emotions, then the Law of Physics, the Law of Attraction kicks. Like attracts like. As you raise your vibration, you’re attracting to you more things that are vibrating at a higher frequency as well. You’re giving yourself that proof one way or another.
I want to touch on something that you said, which is key here as well, which is self-compassion. Rewiring your brain requires a lot of self-compassion. You talk about sabotage. We don’t have that self-compassion for yourself, realizing that it’s not your fault and there’s no one to blame. It is what it is. You have this belief. Your parents did the best they could to get you where they are and maybe they did. Maybe they could have done it. Maybe that’s your perception but it doesn’t serve you too well. Here’s where you are. If you feel that you’re not where you want to be based on your belief system and it sucks, don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re not alone. There are other people in the same position and that doesn’t serve you. That perception and thought process doesn’t serve you.
Have a lot of self-compassion. Realize that you have a choice. If you’re alive, you’re not dead. That means time is still on the clock for you and the game isn’t over. You still have an opportunity to change. If you could feel good about yourself, even where you are, that increases your probability of change and success rate, if you’re beating yourself up, you’re adding to the situation. “I knew I wasn’t enough. Look at me, I can’t even do this. My life sucks.” Let’s get over it because we need to be focusing on what we can do to change the situation. Sometimes, when we talk about and we identify these blocks, we start to beat ourselves up. It’s something to be thankful for, to realize that you have the block. There’re a lot of people that are oblivious to the way they treat people or their relationship with money, with themselves, their business. Some people are money hungry and greedy that they don’t realize it. They don’t realize they have the block. When you realize you have the block, that’s something to be grateful for.
I want to add something to what you said, Rodney, because yes, we do have to have self-compassion. There’s a fine line between having compassion for yourself and stuffing your emotions. It’s important to allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling. As a coach, I have a client that comes on the call and I’m like, “Five minutes event, get it all out, yell, cry, scream and nudge out the face. Whatever it is you need to do, get it out energetically of your system and then be done with it. “I effed up on that. I did what I did. I got what I got and I’m not happy with it. I can learn from that. What do I need to learn from this particular episode or lesson and then how do I move forward from it more powerfully?” You don’t keep spinning because the universe in its infinite wisdom will continue to, “Here’s that lesson,” until you go, “I got it,” up to level up.
Normally, it’s not a good idea. It’s necessary because what I found is if you need to go somewhere and have your pity party, it’s liberating because when you don’t get that moment to vent, that’s a block in and of itself. It interrupts the flow because you’re human. When things happen, you’re going to have an emotion about it. There are a time and place to release that emotion appropriately. Get that out because it opens up for the good emotions to come back in. If you keep them suppressed and you hold on to them, then you’re stuck with it and you walk around with it. It starts to have an effect on you. I completely, 100% agree that that is a part of the flow process.
An important thing to add to that is the more you stuff your emotions and you’re like, “I’ll deal with that later,” you’re shoving down all of those negative emotions, which create negative ripple effects throughout your body. When you have these negative emotions, you’re releasing cortisol and adrenaline into your body. If you continue to do that, then your body is going to throw it out in the towel and eventually go, “This isn’t working.” You might blow out your adrenals and you might get cancer or a heart attack. You might be overweight and depressed. There’s a lot of different ways that your body will physically manifest you not processing your emotions. Get your attention like, “Excuse me, this isn’t working down here.” You need to change what you’re doing.If something is not serving you, then find a different perspective to stand-in. Click To Tweet
One of my favorite quotes is from the 18th century by Dr. Henry Moseley. He said, “Emotions that cannot find their expression in tears will cause other organs to weep.” Listen to your body. It’s trying to talk to you. You have this infinite wisdom from here down and you need to listen to it. If there’s a spot, a place in your body that’s constantly like, “I’ve always got this tension in my shoulders. I got this chronic pain in my belly. I got this thing in my back.” It’s because there’s some emotion that you’re not processing and you’ve got to get quiet, go inside and ask yourself, “What is that pain all about?” One of the things that I love to do in my sessions with clients is when they’re in that state of hypnosis, I can go in and ask their body. What’s the purpose of this pain? What’s the intention of this pain? What are you trying to tell me?
I had a session with a client who’s had chronic back pain and her body’s response was, “I need you to pay attention to know that it’s time for you to shine. Stop hiding out.” It was like this massive a-ha for her because she’s done a whole boatload of personal development work and she’s athletic. This back thing kept holding her back. Her spirit’s way of saying, “No, it’s time for you to shine. You have to listen to yourself and listen to your intuition. Stop ignoring what it has to say to you.” Time after time, when I do this one particular exercise inside of a hypnosis session with people, they have these amazing a-has about why their body is responding the way it is. “Why do I have cancer? Why do I have chronic migraines? Why do I have chronic adrenal fatigue?” From that a-ha moment, they’re able to shift their perspective and create a new belief about themselves that lets go of that old belief. It has this incredible ripple effect not only emotionally but physically. They start to feel better, so it’s fun to watch.
How important is it for people to check-in? What are some daily practices that they could execute to check-in?
It is important to check-in, even if it’s just for five minutes at the beginning of your day or the end of your day. Take a few minutes to breathe deeply and use the full capacity of your lungs. Notice where you are holding any tension, fear, worry or doubt when you’re holding any heaviness in your body and then ask, “What is this trying to tell me? What is it that I need to know that my body is trying to communicate to me?” I can hear the course, “What have I done? Tell me anything.” You just have to get quiet and it will. It’s a matter of quieting your mind so that your heart, mind, and spirit can respond to you and you can take it in like, “Okay.” I can hear the Debbie Downers out there. Start to notice and trust your intuition and gut. There’s so much science behind the mind, heart, and gut connection, and the emotions that live there and the intuition that it produces for us. It’s powerful. When you allow yourself to tune into yourself, feel your feelings and allow that to be a guide of what’s right and what’s needed for you.
We live in a world that’s busy and there are many distractions with social media, demands of life, responsibilities, and things that we have to take care of. We sometimes feel that we don’t have time to sit still and do nothing, no radio and no TV. There’s a level of integration because most of the time, we live in our conscious mind. We have the calendar. What did I not do? What do I have to do? What did I forget to do? That’s the space that we live in and we feel that we check everything off. We get everything done then we’re performing at a high level. We’re executing and we rate ourselves based on that.
There’s so much power that you’re leaving on the table because you don’t have the integration. You’re performing at 1/3 of what you could perform because you’re performing only in your headspace. You’re not performing from your heart space and feeling space. When you can integrate all three, which requires a lot of stillness, you could perform at the head, emotional and heart space. You will find that you’ll get more meaningful things done. You could take inventory of all the things that we do on a daily basis. Not just one day. Go back 30, 60 or 90 days and look at all the activities that you’ve executed that you felt that were necessary.
I’m talking about everything and you’ll find that there’s a lot of things. Even though you’ve done a lot, I would probably say that not even half of those things are meaningful. Maybe they are but not 100%. I can tell you that, especially if you’re not operating from an integrated space, just the headspace. What you’ll find is when you’re operating from an integrated space, you get more meaningful things done and then meaningful takes on a whole new meaning because there are things that are pressed upon you that have this association that it’s meaningful but it may not be meaningful to you. You need to be accomplishing what’s meaningful to you in terms of your goals, aspirations, dreams, and desires for your life.
To add to that, Rodney because I would agree, I’ve worked with thousands of people from all over the world and one of the things that I find often is people searching for more meaning or more purpose in their life. They get up, go to work, and do what they do, and oftentimes, people fall into careers. My mom and dad did it, so I started doing it. My sister or somebody told me that that was a good job so I went and started doing that job but they never stopped to ask themselves, “What’s important to me? What are my core values? What are the things that fill my cup?” I’ve seen it time and time again and experiences in my own life where you hit that wall of, “This doesn’t make sense to me anymore. What am I doing? I don’t get it.” Some people call it a midlife crisis. I like to call it a spiritual awakening because your spirits are going, “Excuse me. This isn’t working. You need to do something different.”
We easily get trapped in golden handcuffs, a lifestyle or the way things are supposed to look. “I’m supposed to be married with 2.5 kids and I’m supposed to have a house and a car.” If that is not fulfilling you, then you need to pause, go inward and go, “What is important to me? What are those root values and core values of mine that are my drivers?” If those values aren’t being met, that’s creating a disintegration. That’s where the stress, tension, and disease can manifest because we’re not in sync with ourselves. We haven’t taken the time to decide who we are and who we want to be in the world. What’s the contribution that I want to make in the world to the best use of me, my talents, joy, and expertise? Whatever shape or form that looks like.
When you can find that for yourself, that’s when the meaning comes in. That’s where the integration becomes much easier because you’re operating from a place of alignment, mind, body, and spirit, instead of just mind. There are many people walking around and I find it painfully ironic that the show The Walking Dead was popular because millions of people are walking around zombies to their lives like, “I’m walking. I’m looking at my life. This is my life.” I’m like, “Wake up.” I see that at the heart of the work that I do is helping people to wake up to their full power to their true essence of who they’re meant to be by eliminating the blocks, beliefs, barriers, and veils. The lies they’ve been telling themselves or other people told them that they took on and integrated into their psyche and eliminating that so they can go, “This is who I am and this is how I’m supposed to be a contribution. This is what brings me joy and happiness.” From that place, you raise your vibration, create these powerful ripple effects and you’re unstoppable from their place.
How can people connect with you, Michele, if they want to learn more about you, maybe work with you, get more tips and ideas on how they can remove these barriers and show up more powerful in the universe?
You can always find me on my website, NectarConsulting.com, and you can also find me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter. I invite you to visit my website. I have a great section there called the Brain Candy section. I have a ton of free resources, some eBooks with some transformation recording so you can start rewiring your brain all by yourself. If you’re interested in talking with me further, we can schedule a complimentary discovery session. You can tell me more about what’s going on for you and I can see how it might be of help, whether it’s individually, one-on-one or through my group, Rapid Rewiring Membership Program. There are lots of different ways that we can work together to help you move past the blocks that are in your way that you realize you wake up one day and you go, “I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to live with this fill in the blank and I’m ready to let it go.” Sometimes, it’s as easy as that.
Michele, you have brought up the question, “Who do I want to be in the world?” Another hack for me was asking myself that question and then when I came up with the answer. Whatever it is, for everyone, is going to be different. I would ask myself, “How would that person think, feel, move, and behave?” It went on and on. I started adapting some of those ideas of what that person that I wanted to be, the things that they would do and the way they would show up. What I found is to begin to also rewire and reconfigure my thought process, self-identity, and all of those things. Do you validate that as a way to rewire the brain?
What popped in is to create your avatar of who you want your future self to be. Who I want to be 1, 2 or 5 years from now? See it in full technicolor detail, feel the feeling, step into that avatar’s life and allow that feeling to permeate every cell and every fiber of your being because the more you can see and feel it, the more your subconscious mind will go, “This is who we are.” You consciously and unconsciously begin to create and manifest that reality. I applaud you for having done that, Rodney. It’s worked well for you and there’s a lot of different ways to hack your brain. I love that. Amy’s stubborn. Don’t get me wrong.
I call her crazy Amy.
She’s there to protect you. She loves you dearly and she doesn’t always know the difference between bear and boss. It’s a matter of taking back your power to say, “No, this is what I want. This is what I want to be a stand for.” Please know that the moment you start stretching beyond the edge of your comfort zone or Amy’s holding guard, it gets uncomfortable and squirmy but you get to notice that and go, “Thank you for sharing, Amy. I’ve got this and you keep going.” When you get squirmy, that tells you you’re going in the right direction.
There’s a lot to be said whenever you get there and things may not 100% workout but they’re learning opportunities.
It’s never going to look the way you thought. It was going to tell you that like, “It could be even better than you could have possibly imagined.”
Michele, thank you for coming on the show and sharing your wisdom with us. This has been wonderful. I love talking about stuff like this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed how much I’ve been soaking it in.
I’m not passionate about my work either but thank you. It’s been a real joy to be here.
Thank you so much. What is the game changer mentality message you would like to leave with us?When you start focusing on the things that you don't have, then you see more of what you don't have. Click To Tweet
Simply rewire your brain, think new thoughts, and your life will follow.
If you want to change the game, you’ve got to rewrite your brain. This is fabulous. Check out Michele and check out the Rapid Rewiring process. You’ve heard this before, “The battle is won in the mind.” If you can rewire your brain, you can do anything and you can change the game. This is where the rubber meets the road. It’s all about having control of your thoughts. That’s it. This is a mind game. It’s a mental thing. That’s why we call it Game Changer Mentality.
Life is a mind game.
If you can win the game in the mind, everything else follows. That’s your homework. Rewire your brain. Thanks, Michele, on coming to the show.
Thank you, Rodney. It’s a real joy to be here and many blessings to everybody who’s reading.
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About Michele Molitor
Michele is the founder and CEO of Nectar Consulting Inc., and co-author of the best-selling book “Breakthrough Healing”. She works with executives and entrepreneurs bringing more than 25 years of experience, intuitive insights and strategic business savvy to their success. She is an expert at enhancing the capacity of leaders, to build high performing teams and exponentially increase bottom-line results. Michele’s unique Rapid Rewiring approach is a culmination of years of study in the realms of emotional intelligence, neuroscience, organizational psychology and Rapid Transformational Therapy. She helps catalyze shifts in thinking and eliminate mental and emotional blocks to rapidly rewire your brain for greater confidence and success. A nationally recognized speaker, certified executive coach, Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) practitioner, consultant, trainer, and writer, Michele’s passion for helping others amplify their natural talents and expand their leadership is conveyed through all aspects of her work and writing.
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