Is there a secret to living life fearlessly? The game changers, the people who are incredibly successful in life – they understand that failure is part of the process. With the right mindset, failure can be truly liberating. Racquel Walters discusses ideal life and career strategies with a twist: facing the fear of failure head-on instead of trying to avoid it. Always note that you have whatever potential inside of you to make changes to your life. Learn how to break down limiting beliefs so you, too, can manifest the dream life you’ve always wanted!
Racquel Walters is a Career & Relationship Consultant, and Co-host of the Konnect & Elevate Podcast. As a Licensed Medical Social Worker & Therapist. she has worked in one of the top hospitals in New York City. With a strong belief in advocating for women, Racquel makes it her mission to help more women live on purpose, make a strong, positive impact in their ideal careers, and live their lives to the fullest.
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Living Life Fearlessly With Racquel Walters
I’m here with my wonderful, beautiful guest, Racquel Walters. She’s a relationship coach and a career coach. She’s here with us to impart her knowledge, her expertise and share her story of overcoming obstacles and barriers in her life and becoming a game changer because that’s what we’re all about here at the Game Changer Mentality podcast. She’s going to share her tools and strategies that have allowed her to be the game changer that she is. Read on as we have this wonderful interview with my friend, Racquel Walters. Welcome to the show, Racquel.
Thank you so much, Rodney. I am thrilled and honored to be here with you, speak with you and to share my message with your audience. It’s a pleasure.
You have such a beautiful spirit. You’re such a light to the world and I’m glad that you have decided to be here on the show with us. Thank you for who you are and what you do in the world. I appreciate you being here with us.
Thank you very much. I will echo the same as well. You’re such a special person and amazing human being. I feel fortunate and lucky to have met you and to have developed this relationship that I know will last a lifetime. Thank you.
No worries, my pleasure. You’re doing big things in the world. You’re writing a book, is that true?
That is 100% true.
Congratulations on that. How are things going with that? Can you tell us a little bit about it?
I am getting ready to pre-launch my book, so people can pre-order and get a little bite sized taste of what the book would be about. The title is Ideal Career, Ideal Life: Strategies To Live Your Life Fearlessly and it’s going to be amazing. It’s focused on some of my clients’ success stories, in addition to stories from women who have obtained or faced obstacles, challenges and have come across victoriously on the end. It’s still a mindset work in addition to practical strategies that people in general can implement right away.
I’m glad that you’re writing a book like that and about fear because I believe fear hinders a lot of people from accomplishing what they want to accomplish in life. I’ve experienced people who are afraid to drive out of the town that they live in and perhaps to go to a city or travel. Some people are afraid to try different foods. Some people are afraid to even ask their ideal mate, their ideal woman or man that they would like to spend the rest of their life with out on a date. Fear can be debilitating. The fact that you’re going to write a book on overcoming fear, it’s fabulous. For the readers, what are some of the things that we can do to overcome fear? What have you learned in your life?
[Tweet “Fear can definitely hold us back from doing so many different things.”]
From my personal experiences, fear can definitely hold us back from doing many different things. It doesn’t matter what area in your life you want to progress in, but for some reason that little inner critic, those self-doubts and fears that are often called limiting beliefs hold us back. For me, it was no different. I always aspired to be the best human being and to be a person of service the best way I can in this world. A lot of my fear that held me back was that I felt I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t worthy enough. Who am I to think that I can affect or bring about some change in this world, no matter how minute it was? Oftentimes we would feel as if change and the process of change has to be this gigantic thing.
For me personally, in terms of my strategies, I had become very honest with myself in terms of what was truly pulling me back. Was it the stories in my head? Was it somebody telling me things that I’m believing? This could come from my parents. It could come from early knowledge from parents, teachers, society and the media, anywhere. It could come from a mentor, it could come from anywhere in the world. Unfortunately, our minds create this story and often times we believe it. In terms of me not feeling worthy, I wasn’t feeling worthy enough to even go into a particular career because I didn’t know if I had enough knowledge to impart that into helping people.
To answer your questions about me first identifying what was holding me back, I felt you have to get clear crystal clear on it. Clarity is power, which is the first thing and the first tip or strategy I would say. People will say to you or to me, “How do you get clarity? What is clarity?” I like to say clarity is knowing and you don’t have to know 100%. Knowing what it is that you want in this world, what it is that you don’t want and how is it that you’re going to bring on both, whatever the change is you want to create. Let me become more linear with this and get more specific. For instance, me going to high school and wanting to find out my purpose in this world and what I wanted to become in this world.
I wasn’t sure how I’m going to help but what gave me some sense of how I wanted to make some change is by looking at I was attracting people, my friends and even some teachers at the time. Crazy to believe it, as a teenager, having your teacher looking up to you or asking you for little tidbits of advice here and there, I realized that I had some calling on my life even though I didn’t know what it was. I realized that even helping my friends, giving advice, encouraging them, motivating them, it’s revealed itself to me that I needed to do something where I could be of service in the helping field. At that time, I wasn’t sure. Finishing high school and when it came time for me to think about college on what I wanted to do, I naturally went the psychology route where I decided then psychology, focus on the mind and the behavior.
It’s in alignment with what I was doing and how I was being received by my friends and a few teachers in high school, then that’s what I was meant to do in the world. The fear came in where I said to myself, and this was just stories, “Am I capable enough to study and get my undergraduate degree in psychology? Am I able to become that A student or at least pass in order to graduate?” I have to be honest here, Rodney, I was not that A student. I was an average student. I didn’t pay much attention in school even though I had the potential but I was distracted a lot in typical high school. You can remember or recall and for your audience, think about high school days. You do have friends who are the “nerd.”
We put these words are placement on them but I don’t know if you can relate on your audience, but I wasn’t focusing much on education. I was more a social person and I wouldn’t say I was as popular, but I hung around the popular friends, the popular girls and boys in the school. Education wasn’t a focus for me. However, that was a part of my limiting belief thinking that, “Can I make this happen?” I had to consult with my parents what I wanted to do, explain to them that, “This is the route that I want to take because I feel that’s what I was meant to do in the world in addition to other people affirming that for me.” My friends will tell me, “Racquel, you’re easy to talk to. You’re likable and you get me.” Even that coming from them made a huge difference in my life.
I had to decide for myself. The first thing is the belief in myself. In the context of fear, you have to believe that there is something that you can do in this world regardless if it’s freaking you out inside, regardless what it’s going to look like, first and foremost, and how you’re going to achieve it. I had to surround myself at that time with my community of friends and my parents, people in my family that were encouraging me to say yes like a cheerleader. Yes, you can do this. You got to get focused. You already know what you want. You got to get focused. Believe in yourself, you can do anything. My mom always told me, “The sky is the limit. Just put your mind to it and you can do it,” and that was the early stages of me breaking through that fear.
I can tell that you’re very passionate about it. I want to get back to something that you said about the limiting beliefs and I want to break that down. Those two words, limiting beliefs. The reason why I want to do that is because we all have limiting beliefs about something. When it comes to your beliefs, whether they’re limiting or not, if they’re empowering that’s great as well. When we have these beliefs, what I’ve learned is that we get to decide what we believe. It’s like you were saying that people may have imparted certain things into you to encourage you or they could have imparted things into you that discouraged you, caused you not to believe what it is that you wanted to accomplish or that you had the ability to accomplish what you want to accomplish.
To break that down, it is a choice for you to believe that or not. We come up with these stories and those stories are a lot of times the basis to whether or not we believe a certain thing. It could be because I’m black. That’s a story, you’re black and that may be a true story, it may be factual but it doesn’t mean that that is the reason why you can or cannot accomplish something. Whether you believe it or not, that is a conscious choice. I’m too old or I’m too young. All of these things are stories, and then we believe these stories. I wanted to bring that out because a lot of people deal with that. They have these stories about their lives. You had a story about your life.
There were things that were going on in your head and obviously you’ve consulted with your parents and other people that supported you and it allowed you to make the right decision. Here you are now, having at one point in your life believe that potentially you didn’t have what it takes to graduate high school and you’re writing a book. That’s amazing and it shows you true power of the stories that we make up and whether or not we believe them. You have a different belief now, you’re a game changer. You’re changing the world now with what you’re doing.
I want to add something here too. I realized that not a lot of people had that support that I have, that community to drive me, to push me through my own limiting beliefs at that time. To now be able on the outside to say, “Yes, I went through that and that was a challenge for me at that young age,” but when you think about it, when you’re a teenager and you’re getting ready to graduate high school and transition into what it is that you want to do in this world, it is a serious moment. Not even a moment is a serious decision as far as what you’re going to do.
Oftentimes, education or graduating high school is of utmost importance because it will definitely allow you to go further and to serve this world for the majority of the time. The point I want to say here is that there are a lot of people who did not have that support. Support doesn’t have to come only from great parents. Yes, there are great teachers as well who can see it. They have a crystal glass or an hourglass where they can see into your future. They can see your potential before you can even see it in yourself. If you don’t have that community that’s strong like some somebody that’s close, a parent, family members that see that, can support that and encourage that, and then of course you’ll have teachers. You can read books. You have the media too. There’s still positivity going on in the world.
At the time they were library, the internet wasn’t popular. Going to the library, reading books, now we have access to that. I know I was talking in the past but even now in the present, whatever challenges or obstacles you’re going through and you feel because of fear or self-doubts that you cannot break through that and you cannot find the help. I want to encourage you that the help is there. You have to seek to find it. Align yourself with the right type of people, the right type of mentorship and the people that’s going to be there to encourage you and to keep you focused in attaining those results. I want to add that as well.
I’m a real big advocate for environment. An environment is important and that’s what I hear you screaming. I hear you saying that especially when you have issues with believing in yourself, self-doubt or perhaps you’ve come from a place where you haven’t seen many people accomplish what you want to accomplish. You have to put yourself in a place that is conducive to your success. Put yourself in a place that’s conducive to your success. What we’re talking about is an environment. It’s difficult enough when you have that little voice in the back of your head that’s talking to you and telling you, “Who do you think you are to go out and change the world? Who do you think you are to write a book? Who do you think you are to talk about transformation?” It’s hard enough when you have that little voice.
When you have people around you who don’t support your dream, people around you who don’t want to accomplish anything in life, they’re settling for the status quo. They don’t want more. Here you are trying to be a game changer. You’re trying to make ways. It’s difficult. It’s doable but it’s difficult. One of the ways to put yourself in a place that is conducive to yourself is to surround yourself with believers. Surround yourself with people who are about transformation, who are trying to make it happen, who want to be to be game changers. That’s what it’s about.
Environment, community is important. Very important and major key for you to have an environment that’s supportive, that’s encouraging and who will call you out in terms of that accountability. You need to surround yourself with that.
When we’re talking about overcoming fears, and I see how the environment can be helpful when perhaps you’re fearful of stepping out on something. I know you’re a coach but there’s something to be said about a mentor. A coach is a person that can see the potential in you and although they may not have done what it is that you’re trying to do, they can see that you can do it. That there’s a possibility for you to do it and then they coach you into that destination, into that possibility. Whereas a mentor is someone who has done exactly what you’re trying to do and they can show you how to do it, give you the step by step instructions on you can do that yourself. Having a coach is great as well, which we’re going to talk about how you coach your clients as a relationship coach, as a career coach and having that mentor as well.
When you are fearful about doing something and you have someone that can hold your hand and say, “You can do this. Why? Here are the steps. This is what I did to overcome that fear and get where I am and you can follow in that same path and accomplish what you want to accomplish.” We can’t beat the drum enough on environment and how important that is. Tell us as a career coach, as a relationship coach, how do you help people in their careers? How do you help people with their relationship? Talk to us about that.
Being a career and relationships coach, I focus on the career first and foremost. You will be amazed how the relationship whether it’s an intimate relationship or non-intimate, it still ties in under the career. It’s like a puzzle, it’s amazing. As a program relationship coach, I can typically work with success-driven corporate women who are miserable. They’re tired. They’re stressed out in the job that they are in. The challenge that they have is making a decision whether they want to stay, whether they want to transition into another career or if they want to start a business. I help these women who have these frustrations come out on the other side, first and foremost, get clarity in finding what it is that they want to do and then come out on the other side transformed. In transformation, they become more self-aware. They become happier, more fulfilled with their life. They’re on purpose. They are on mission with what it is that they want to do.
[Tweet “You have to be comfortable with failure at first.”]
Many of my clients, the problem that they’re having is that they have been playing small, they feel they’re in a box, they feel they’re suffocating and they want to express themselves. They want to show off their skill sets. They want to position themselves in a way that they are recognized, they are feeling appreciated, they’re feeling valued for what it is that they’re doing. It’s the same thing in their relationships as well. I will talk specifically to non-intimate partner relationships that could look like family, friends, coworkers, managers, that could be anyone on the outside of being in an intimate partner relationship with your partner, spouse, etc.
A lot of my clients, they are dealing with the fear of speaking up for themselves. The fear of feeling as if they are too educated and because of that they will be a threat in the workplace to their coworkers and, or their managers. That limits them from getting a promotion because they’re feeling that manager or managers or upper management are feeling as if they’re threatening to them and their job, which is I would say 60%, 70% of the time true. Unless you’re working with a manager that is forward moving and encouraging and can foster and appreciate that and push that employee where they’re aspiring to be.
What I found out too is that a lot of my clients are corporate woman, they’re settling. They’re comfortable and they’re tolerating the type of job they’re doing. It doesn’t mean that they don’t like it. It’s just that they need to rearrange some of the culture and certain things and they feel they can’t speak up in meetings. In terms of transformation, what I help them do is what I talked about earlier, that limiting beliefs, those self-doubts and those fears is I get them crystal clear on how it is. What type of impact they will want to create. How they can position themselves to get that recognition within the workplace and not be that threat to the perceived threats, I should add, to their superiors or to people in that workspace.
There are a lot of fears you’re calling on. There are different types of fear and we can’t cover them all here on the show. In general, when you’re dealing with someone, how does a person get from getting clear? You mentioned getting to the other side and I’m assuming the other side is the place in their life where they’re happy, they feel free and they’re enjoying life that they love their life and everything is great. You get a person who’s clear, “I want X, Y and Z,” so they’re clear about what it is they want. They’re clear about why they want it. What’s the next step for that individual?
They’re clear about what they want and why they want it. The next step is to formulate a map, some strategic map and implement. Having the information and knowing exactly what you want in terms of the clarity is great. The next step is now implementation that is the piece that is difficult for many people. Now you are in the mix. You have to execute and execution does not always look or plays out the way we think it would. This is why coaches, going back to coaches, is essential and important. Not only a coach is able, such as me, to dissect and get you clear on what it is that you want and the reasons behind it because you have to have that reason, whether intrinsic or extrinsic, motivational drive to propel you, but that implementation piece you need that accountability. You need that coach to hold your hands and definitely direct you when you hit a barrier, when you hit a problem, when you get sidetracked, to keep you accountable in getting and achieving what it is that you said you wanted to do.
You get clear and then you get on the court because a lot of people live their lives in the stands, they’re spectators. They have their own goals and dreams but they don’t feel like they can accomplish their own goals and dreams. Maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s lack of resources, whatever it is, they stay in the stands. One of the things I’m passionate about, you know how you see people that are successful, whether they be athletes, actors, moguls, great business people or whatever. They’re successful. You take someone who is aspiring to be that, they will for some reason differentiate themselves with the person who’s successful. What I mean by that, they’ll say, “It’s okay,” and they’ll accept the fact that that person can do it. That person can be successful. That person can be a millionaire. That person can be an athlete, the star athlete.
When they look at themselves, they don’t view themselves that way. I want to change that because we’re all human beings. I have an imagination just like he has an imagination. He gets 24 hours a day. I get 24 hours a day. There may be some other variables in the equation. Maybe he was blessed with resources or his mom and dad had certain things that allowed him to get a head start. This is a race if you will. Just because someone has a head start, doesn’t mean that you can’t finish your race, that you can’t cross the finish line, that you can’t be the best that you can be, and that you can’t be a game changer. Sometimes that story, that thought, that belief will cause people to stay in the stands. They won’t get out on the court and play the game. This is before the barrier. This is before the failure. This is before all the things that occur on your way, on your journey towards the life and the success that you want. You can’t experience any of that if you don’t get on the court, if you don’t get on the field, if you don’t get out of the stands.
I love this because sometimes we say you have to make a plan. That can be taken as, “That sounds simple and easy,” but making that plan and implementing that plan is one of the biggest steps that a person can make in their quest to become a game changer. You can’t score if you’re not on the field. You can’t win anything if you’re not on the court. If you’re watching, you’re spectating and time in your life is passing you by. That’s part of this implementation. When a person is implementing, they’re on the court, how do you walk them to the other side as you explain? What’s the next step? What are you doing?
One of the other strategies or tips I would give to you and your audience is that you’ve got to manage your expectations. Managing expectations because a lot of times even with a plan we think that, “This is how the plan’s going to go, A, B, C, D, E.” Sometimes that’s not how it’s going to go in reality when you’re implementing it. When you’re on the court, sometimes it’s E first, then B, then A. Honestly, in the context of managing your expectation, you have to be aware that this can play out different ways.
With regard to you saying that a lot of people are in the stand and they have the vision, they know their why, but they’re scared of stepping on the field and executing. In their minds, they’re expectation is that even if I do that, even if I get on the court, even if I get on the field, I am not going to score that goal or I’m not going to shoot that basket. They’re already thinking about the failure, but what if you win? What if you score that goal? What if you shoot that basket? It could be either or, the question is are you willing to put yourself in that position to find out? That’s the question.
A lot of people cannot come to terms with that to say, “Yes, I am willing to risk something or to try.” It’s better to have tried than to not try, then think and then be like, “What if I have done so a year ago? Five years ago? Twenty years ago? What would my life would have been like? What type of life would I be living?” This is why a lot of people live with regrets. I also have a background as a licensed medical social worker and I’ve worked in hospitals for ten years. I love talking to my elderly geriatric patients when I see them through the emergency department or if I am providing psychotherapy. They always tell me one thing, “Try everything. Better you say, “I like something,” knowing that was something that you wanted to achieve in your life, than sit on the court and say, “This is not going to work because I don’t have the time. I don’t have the money. I don’t have the resources. I don’t have the connection. I don’t have the knowhow in quotations. I am not smart enough. I am stupid.”
Whatever the stories are, it’s better you put yourself in the position. You may risk it all because things don’t always happen how we want it. It’s better to have done that than to be living your life with regrets, feeling miserable and feeling like you’ve lost out on life. That were some of the stories that some of my elderly clients and our patients have told me and that has stuck with me. For the audience, please play. Get in the game. You’re not going to know the outcome, what your potential can be and the life that you can live without you getting in the game and getting down and dirty. That’s the only way.
You mentioned something that I want to touch on that you gained from one of the persons that you spoke to as a social worker. They said, “Better to try and fail.” Let’s think about that. I’m a thinker. I like to think especially something like this, something that’s said in this manner. It’s better to try and fail. Most people don’t think it’s a good thing to fail, but this person is saying is better to try and fail. In your mind as a coach, why do you think it’s better to try and fail? What’s so better about that?
It’s better because in terms of failing because we’re all going to fail, the lessons are rich that you can learn. It could be minute lessons or it could be new huge lessons. We don’t know, depending on what your goal is. The lessons that you will learn is rich that you can go back to the drawing board and you can start again. You can start as many times until you get the ultimate success that you’re looking for, that particular goal or result that you wanted. Failure is key and important, that’s another major key. You have to be comfortable with failure at first because we have to be honest here.
Failure is very scary, and I’m not saying that it wasn’t scary for me. Over time, because I’ve failed so much, it has been part of my success story because each time I fail and each time I bump or get into a certain wall or a barrier, it gets me thinking, “What could you have done differently? What could you have done better next time? How else can you approach this? From what angle?” Especially if it’s something truly that you want, you’re going to keep going at it until you get it.
That’s where that drive will come from because you’re going to be looking at that giant saying, “I don’t care how many times you knock me down. I am going to get up and I am going to break you down. I’m going to get across that bridge, across that water, across that barrier,” so it’s better to have failed and not to have tried because especially if your why, and this is why your why of whatever it is that you want to do in terms of the career path, your purpose, that big purpose that you feel like you work with based on this world. In part of service, value or to provide something, that thing, that you feel you was meant to be calm and be in this world.
That’s why you’ve got to be crystal clear on what that is and bring you on that journey because that’s your why, your reasons. It doesn’t have to be something grand either. It could be that, “I just want to help my family and we are in financial rots.” It’s always been that way and I’m going to be that person to change around that story, close that cycle and move my family into financial freedom for the generation and the next generation to come. If you don’t carry that mantle or that baton, think about a relay in the Olympics. If you don’t do that, then think about are you going to be sad? Are you going to be miserable? Will that thought constantly torment you or give you nightmares at night? What are the costs? What is the pain? If that pain and cost is too great of a burden, then get on that court, get on that field and go get your success.
I was reading a book and it was talking about some of the characteristics of people that are very successful. I ran across a passage and it said, “People that are very successful in life, the game changers, they embody failure. They understand that failure is part of the process.” We shouldn’t call it failure because we’re talking about fear and failure. The definition of failure, the term failure, it’s beautiful. Just a fail. No one wants to fail. It’s so deceiving the term failure because that experience that we experienced when we do fail, if we have the right mindset can be very liberating.
[Tweet “When you have the right perspective on failure, you no longer have to be fearful. In failure there’s so much liberation!”]
It can be very liberating because what you don’t know. Sometimes when you fail, you realize what you didn’t know, but we call it failure. In my book, that’s a game, that’s a win. Anything that’s going to allow me to become more, to become more aware, to learn something new, that’s not failure. The whole perspective around failure, the whole definition of failure in my mind is a little bit construed. You have to have a certain perspective. You have to have that game changing mentality when it comes to failure because failure by definition can make you fearful. When you have the right perspective on failure, you no longer have to be fearful because you understand that in failure there’s much liberation and that’s what you want. You want the things that are going to allow you to keep going farther.
Failure has such a negative connotation, it prevents people from embracing it and experiencing it, and as a result they stay where they are. They never moved to higher ground. In order to move to higher ground, you got to fail and you got to fail forward. You have to go through these experiences that are going to give you the tools to know how, the knowledge to go to higher levels in life, to make waves and changes in life. The way failure has been positioned and presented, it’s a little misleading if you will. It takes people you to change that, to impart the true definition, the empowering definition, the life changing game, changing definition of failure. It’s wonderful that you do what you do. How can people reach you, Racquel? If they wanted to get to know you a little bit more, inquire about your services, how can people reach you?
People can reach me directly on my website, which is www.RacquelWalters.com and that’s the best way to learn some more about what I do and how I can potentially help you with your career and your relationship issues.
Your book is coming out soon. You’re doing a pre-release or is that forthcoming? Tell us about that.
Ideal career, Ideal Life: Strategies To Live Your Life Fearlessly, the preorder will be coming out. What I’m going to be doing is I’m going to be having that book available for $0.99, affordable so that you can get some bite sized insights into my world and how you can live your life fearlessly because fear is something that’s crippling us in today’s society. Once we can, that game changer mentality and shift our mindset to focus on you has the power within you to change around your situations. Despite those fears, despite those stories and breakthrough, rise above those in order to be bold and courageous and to go get what it is that you want in your life and then this book is for you.
Racquel, I want to thank you for being here with us and sharing your time and your knowledge here with us. It’s been a pleasure to have you on the show. Thank you so much. If there’s anything that we can do here at Inspirational Endeavors, let us know how we can support you because we love having you here and you’re doing amazing work in the world and you’re awesome. Thank you again for being on the show.
Thank you so much, Rodney, for having me here. Game Changer Mentality is what this world needs. I wish you much success.
Thank you so much. It’s such an honor to have her here on the show. Any last words for the audience, Racquel?
Always know that you have whatever potential inside of you to make changes to your life despite your fear, despite your limiting beliefs and to know that you are worthy, you are loved, you’re supported and that you are light in this world and you should light up this world even more because you are amazing.
That’s what we believe in Game Changer Mentality, where we believe greatness is your birth right.
- Racquel Walters
- Ideal Career, Ideal Life: Strategies To Live Your Life Fearlessly
About Racquel Walters
Racquel Walters is a Career & Relationship Consultant, Co-host of the Konnect & Elevate Podcast. She has a background as a Licensed Medical Social Worker & Therapist. She has worked in one of the top hospitals in New York City where she worked with hundreds of patients in which she has counseled, empowered & advocated for.
Racquel holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, minor in Media, Communications & Technology and a Masters degree in Social Work. She also has a decade experience in Healthcare.
Racquel prides herself in rising above her own fears, self-doubts and overcoming failures, as they played a role in her successes today. With a strong belief in advocating for women, Racquel’s mission is to help more women live on purpose, make an impact in their ideal careers and love their lives!